Using the D-Word

It never fails to amuse me when someone refers to a person who is no longer with us as "passed."  I try to avoid the use of that word, but I also decline to use "passed away," "deceased," "demised" or any other gentle terms for one who has left this mortal plane.

Of course, I do sometimes use the more comical slang phrases, "kicked the bucket," "finished off" or "gave up the ghost."  But never in the actual presence of the corpse, or at the memorial service.

Why is it that we are so sensitive to the final act of life that we all must some day experience, I wonder.  We invent words to substitute for the D-word–some of them beginning with that letter–to avoid at all costs the reference to it in brutal terms.

Here is a partial list of more of those words and terms: expire, perish, succumb, conk, croak, depart, be taken, breathe one's last. cease to exist, drop off, go the way of all flesh, rest in peace, relinquish life, bite the dust, left the building and is no more.  I'm sure there are others, as well, but I want to focus on a few of these.

Pass should be an antonym, because nobody passes–they fail!

Deceased is also suspect because it is the opposite of cease.  If you de-cease, you must come back to life.

Croak (I think) refers to the last gasp of the expiring person, also called the death rattle.

Kick the bucket refers to an old custom of hanging, wherein the condemned was made to stand on a bucket while the noose was placed around the neck.  Then the bucket was kicked out from under him or her. (Gallows are costly to build, after all)

Bite the dust is a good one, and speaks for itself, as does its counterpart, feed the worms.

Left the building is always associated with Elvis, and may have originated in 1977.

You might notice that, up till now, I haven't use the D-word* one time, but I will do so now to finish my little treatise...

My barbershop quartet, Acoemeti, has a song in our repertoire that is very popular at church socials and other quasi-religious affairs.  The title is, Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven, and it is a parody.  The song tells of all the acts people perform to get into heaven, but the last phrase is, "...everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die!"  I think that sums it up quite nicely.

*You probably thought it was that other D-word that got your mouth washed out with soap in the old days.

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I received so many responses to this column that I have to include an addendum.  These are some other colorful phrases that people use to keep from saying the D-word:  Pushing up daisies, $h!t the bed, Took a dirt nap, Found the wrong side of the grass, Toast, Zombie material, Donated organs, Assumed room temperature, Discovered Kryptonite, Hung up the spurs (cowboy), and Gone to Jesus.