Several events have coalesced over the past few weeks that
make this column an apt addition to those I've published in the past on the
subject of my philosophy and lifestyle. I'll get to those events in a moment.
Any of you who know me personally will know that I've had
heart problems for many years. What you
don't know is that I have been living on borrowed time since I had my heart
attack back in July of 2011. On that
trip into the hospital ER, I learned that my coronary arteries had pretty much
turned to concrete. The blockage that
caused the MI was at 90+-percent, and no catheterization or balloon angioplasty
was possible to relieve it and open those arteries. Essentially, my death sentence
was pronounced that day with a indefinite timeframe. My next heart attack will likely be my last one.
Now, as to when that event will occur, the jury is obviously
still out. I'm still on the green side
of the grass. My little Nitro stat
pills do an adequate job of dilating the artery when I get angina attacks, and
I've learned to take them as often as necessary when I get that bad
feeling. So far, so good. I don't plan on going anytime soon, but I
also know that I don't get to make that decision by myself.
Am I moribund?
Depressed? Suicidal? Heck no, I look forward to each new day, and
I'm still planning road trips and how to achieve items on my bucket list.
The referenced events include word that reached me recently
that a former high school classmate had a bad fall down his cellar stairs back
in January, breaking 2 vertebrae in his neck. During the examination at the
hospital, X-rays and CT scan disclosed other problems; arterial fibrillation
and a blocked coronary artery. A balloon angioplasty was performed and a stent
– a mesh tube – was placed in the artery to keep it open. He is now recovering at home, and has
avoided a major stroke or MI, mainly due to his mishap on the stairs. He has a
positive attitude about it, and a good sense of humor about the bad news/good
news balance.
Next, I learned that my cousin has been diagnosed with very
aggressive prostate cancer. He will
begin treatment next month, which I'm sure he doesn't anticipate with any
glee. He has taken steps to prepare,
but the prognosis is usually fraught with lots of buts and ifs, doubts that no
doctor can put to rest. Again, the
attitude is positive.
Penultimately, I started reading a novel about a man who
learned that he had a heart condition called cardiomyopathy, a congenital
disease that would soon be fatal. He
had a lot of the same type symptoms that I have, though I don't have that
disease. It did get me thinking about
my mortality, however.
And finally, I received a phone call out of the blue from a
friend I hadn't spoken with for years.
His reason for calling was, in his exact words, "...just to see how
you're doing these days." Well, I
informed him that I am doing just fine for a septuagenarian with coronary
artery disease, among other ills and issues.
We are all approaching that last breath, but some of us have
a better idea of when it will occur, and I always consider that on the plus
side. It helps to have some warning of
impending ending, because you can make arrangements for yourself and those left
behind. If you are religious, you can make
a choice for an ascending ending or a descending ending. In that vein, I recently decided to put
aside my grudges and feuds and practice forgiveness. I've even finally forgiven my father. And, on a lighter note, I've decided to let bygones be bygones
and will no longer hold my ten-year grudge against Disneyland for the rotten
day I had there in 2004.
Bad news always seems to come with something good, or, as
the old saw goes, "behind every cloud there's a silver lining." If I keep it up, maybe I'll make peace with
my Maker, with whom (or is it Whom?) I've held a long-standing dispute. Other
than that act of contrition, I like to think that I'm pretty well prepared for
whatever befalls me. (pun intended)
