Well, it has finally
happened. I learned the other day that
there is a proposed bill in congress to tax bovine flatulence. I suppose it has
to do with global warming, a term that has migrated to climate change so that
politicians and activists can blame anything on us. And regarding bovine
flatulence, the cows can't help it if they fart, but maybe someone is finally
realizing that once you tax an activity, you get less of it.
Have you ever considered
that, aside from sex in any form, the next most pleasurable thing we do is pass
bodily waste? It is gross, but spitting, farting, peeing and pooping all give
us good feelings. Admit it now... It's true!
Why do you suppose the above
actions are always thought to be offensive? The only one that is truly
voluntary, spitting, is actually a minor form of sneezing, which actually is
involuntary, so they're all quite natural.
While we're on the subject of
sex... Why is pornography, and even most soft porn, referred to as "adult
material"? It isn't very adult to
read or view it. We're supposed to
outgrow that prurient interest when we become adults.
Did you know there are over 400 examples of homophones in the English language?
It's no wonder English one of the hardest languages to learn, especially
in the written form.
Why is Asian accented English
funny no matter what the person is saying?
(Come on, you laugh inwardly if not out loud when you hear it.)
Why is the word abbreviation
so long, while etcetera is usually abbreviated as "etc."?
Why do people mispronounce so
many words?
Examples:
- nuclear = nucular There is no such word. (Look it up in the dictionary, if you can find it)
- realtor = realator That is another non-word, unless you accent the second syllable and refer to someone as “one who relates”.
- jewelry = jewlery And the person who sells jewels is called a jewler instead of a jeweler.
- comfortable - comfterble There are four syllables in the word.
- asterisk = asterick - The 's' is not silent.
Why do we place our garbage,
much of it biodegradable or recyclable,
into 13-gallon reinforced plastic bags that will probably last for hundreds of
years? Then we take it to a landfill
where it will be stored with thousands more plastic bags to spend eternity.
What happens to the used
plastic bags we take back to WalMart?
Here are five examples of
words and phrases that have transcended their original meaning: (I took the
liberty of altering the spelling just a little)
- Algorhythm - Same old song and dance to convince us to stop enjoying ourselves for his profit. (Al Gore's, that is)
- Algorhythm and Blues - That sinking feeling you get when you give up all your [so-called] earth-unfriendly activity and contribute heavily to the cause, only to find that you're broke and you don't enjoy yourself anymore.
- Anonymouse - A rodent traveling incognito.
- Extraordinary - Really plain and boring.
- Cognative - A citizen who fits right in.
That's all for now... My
brain hurts.
