I'm not really out of ideas, but I saw one of the most ironic and funny jokes about old people this week, and I just have to share it. It's been around on the Internet for at least ten years, but I hope you'll like it as much as I did.
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even
get into my own pants.
Since food was mentioned, have you noticed that, despite the
fact that we are becoming the world's most obese people, the fast food chains
are advertising even bigger meals with more and more calories? Heck, you don't even have to ask to be
"super-sized" anymore . . . everything you buy comes in twos or in a
double something.
It reminds me of a guy I worked with once who was about five
sizes too large to begin with, but he came to work one day and said that he
bought that 5-for-$5 deal at Arby's and complained that he had trouble eating
all those roast beef sandwiches for lunch.
Well, Duh!
I went into McDonald's for my senior coffee this morning, and
on the breakfast menu they advertised a "Big Breakfast" that
consisted of scrambled eggs, three pancakes, sausage, hash browns and a large
biscuit. Total calories for that
monster - 1,090. You need to walk for
over five hours to work off all those calories. It also has 2150 grams of
sodium, a real heart stopper. But what person that eats one of those meals
exercises afterwards. And we wonder why
there are so many people who need those motorized wheelchairs to go shopping at
Wal*Mart.
Okay, as long as I'm in a cantankerous frame of mind, I may
as well get something else off my chest.
I am really saddened by the deterioration of the English language used
by our media people on radio and television.
Few can even pronounce the letter 'w' when they give their station call
letters - it comes out sounding like 'dub-wool-you'. Then there are words that are almost always mispronounced. Examples: asterick for asterisk; effisode
for episode; comfterble for comfortable (there are FOUR syllables in that
word); nucular for nuclear; ekscape for escape. There are many more, but those five are ones that really stick
out.
As Porky Pig used to say at the end of the cartoon,
"Th-the-ah, th-the-ah, th-that's all, folks!" My rant is done, and I hope I entertained you with the
little joke to make up for it.
Oh, and don't forget to set your clocks back before you go
to bed tonight. Yes, we're going to
gain an hour of sleep. You know the
saying - Spring forward-Fall back.
