Thirteen Minutes of Fame

Here it is, Super Bowl Weekend again.  Not only are we going to be treated to a super championship game between the New England Patriots and the Seattle Seahawks, but we can also speculate on whether or not Boston brought their balls with enough air in them. 

I have to confess that I never knew until now that the teams were allowed to bring their own footballs to the game.  I can't think of any other reason for this concession than that the teams want to customize their balls to their own liking, and that would seem to include inflation.  It seems to me that it encourages cheating, if that is what under- or over-inflation truly is.

While you are watching the spectacular - I don't intend to watch it for reasons you will soon learn - I hope you will get full enjoyment out of the THIRTEEN MINUTES OF ACTION!

I had a house guest a few weeks ago and we were discussing the huge number of commercials that we have to watch (or fast forward through, if you use your DVR like I do) in order to see a program that we have already paid to watch through cable or dish subscription fees. I told him that I can watch a full hour-long program in about 34 minutes if I fast forward through the ads and promos.

Then Steve told me that it is even worse for sports like football.  He said that he had timed the action for a college game and found that the ball is only in play for about thirteen minutes during the three-and-one-half-hours it takes to play the game.

I was floored by that revelation, though I didn't necessarily disagree with his assessment.  However, I decided then and there that I was going to use a stop watch and perform the same ritual for the next pro football game.

The game I happened to choose was the New England-versus-Indianapolis one, that one with all the controversy over 'Deflategate'.   I did try to keep track of the actual time the football was in play.  Huddles, reviews, challenges, replays and time outs didn't count, but kickoffs and extra points, where the clock isn't running, did count. 

As it turned out, I got kind of bored with the timing, so I quit after the first half, but I did get a pretty good reading while I was doing my due diligence.  I can report that the action during that first half amounted to 6 minutes and 32 seconds.  Therefore, I will concur with Steve's numbers and round it off to 13 minutes of actual football action during the entire game.  Heck, it was hardly a workout. 

Well, I don't know about you, but I don't intend to waste all that time on Sunday to watch thirteen minutes of action.  Maybe I'll tune in at the two-minute warning in the second half and watch the last 10 seconds.

Singing Valentines

Valentines Day is coming up on a Saturday this year, and if you’re in a quandary about what to buy your wife or girlfriend, I have a suggestion for you.  Buy her a Singing Valentine.  If you’ve never bought a singing valentine for your wife, girlfriend, fiancé

or other significant loved one in your life, you don’t know what you’re missing-or rather, what they’re missing.. 

There will be two days of songs for the ladies this year.  Our chorus always does Singing Valentines on at least one weekday, so that we can visit schools and businesses.  Then, on Saturday we'll sing in the homes on a more personal level.  So, you have two chances to impress her this year.

I doubt that there is anything else you can do on Valentines Day that will equal the experience she will have when four tuxedo-clad men show up at her home or at her workplace, present a long-stem red rose and a card with your personal greeting on it and then sing two love songs to her.

Our quartet sang about 30 times last year, and the response was phenomenal.  The ones we sang in the home were the most personal, and the tears flowed every time.  But the ones we sang at the workplace, especially at schools, were the most fun, because our audience was larger, and the school children were so impressed.

We sang to women and men—that’s right, we’re gender neutral—and our audience included teenage girls, widows, mothers and daughters.  We started at 7 AM and didn’t quit until 9 PM. 

We were one of five quartets that circulated throughout the metropolitan area singing, and we presented 166 Singing Valentines.  It wasn’t inexpensive for the senders, but I bet every one of them felt it was worth every penny.  For the lovebirds I’m certain it pays dividends later that evening.

If you would like to send a Singing Valentine to your sweetheart this year, most cities have the service available.  You can usually place an order online or by phone.  Just use the link above and enter your postal zip code to locate the service in your area.  If you order early and you allow a four-hour window, you can probably get a discount.  The extras, like having the presentation at your Valentine dinner at your favorite restaurant are a little extra money, but are always worth it.

So here it is ladies and gentlemen.  If you are trying to come up with a good gift for this Valentines Day, I guarantee that you cannot do any better than a Singing Valentine.  If you don’t score big with your honey, it won’t be our fault.

Here are the lyrics to the two songs usually sung by the quartet:

Let Me Call You Sweetheart

Let Me Call You Sweetheart, I’m in love with you.

Let me hear you whisper that you love me too.

Keep the love light glowing in your eyes so true.

Let me call you sweetheart, I’m in love with you.

Heart Of My Heart (The Story of the Rose)

Heart of my heart, I love you.

Life would be naught without you.

Light of my life, my darling,

I love you... I love you.

I can forget you never.

From you I ne’er can sever.

Say you’ll be mine forever.

I love you.

Now I ask you, “How can she resist when you phrase it that way?”

Paying Yourself First

Can You Use an Extra $250 a Month?  No strings attached?  Not a loan, but a gift?  I'm going to show you how to get it without any gimmicks, so read on

This column needs to be written and disseminated at least once a year, and this is the ideal time to do it.  Unfortunately, for most of us, this is the only time during the year that we bother to think about our income taxes, and then only because the day of reckoning is fast approaching.

Most of you, my readers, are close to or in my age bracket, so the opportunity I'm going to present might not fit your circumstances.  However, we all have children and grand children who can benefit from the advice I'm about to give.  Send or print out this column for them to read and you'll be helping them immensely.

I use both TaxACT™— and Turbo Tax to prepare my taxes, and both send me emails all through tax season to "file now and get your maximum refund."  Well, I am not getting a refund, so why would I file any earlier than the last week around April 15?  Of course, I also noticed that the in-store tax preparers are, as always, hawking their "maximum refund" and "Get your billion back" ads on TV.  It flies in the face of logic, but I suppose it does attract customers.  Here is my opinion on tax refunds.

Approximately 136 million federal tax returns were filed for the 2014 tax season, the one that covered the year 2013 and the latest year for which the numbers are available.  Of those returns, over 102 million - 75% - of the filers claimed tax refunds.  The average refund claimed for those 102 million returns was a shade under $2,700.  That translates to a whopping $275 billion in over-withholding in 2013 alone.  If you don't believe it, here is the link to the statistics. To make this column a little simpler to understand, I'm going to take the liberty to round off the refund amount to $3000.

I know these numbers are difficult to place in perspective on an individual level, but let me put it this way:  Taxpayers loaned the United States Government over one-quarter-of-a-trillion dollars interest-free in 2013.  Here is what that number looks like with all the zeros - $274,700,000,000.  Experience has shown that we continued to loan that much or more in 2014, since the numbers have risen every year for the past decade.

Do you think the government spent that money, or did they keep it in a lockbox so that the IRS could refund it to you when you filed your taxes?  Don't be too hasty with your answer.  Think about it on a personal level.  If I gave you $3,000 today with no strings attached except that you would have to pay it back next year, what would you do with it? Would you find some use for it, or would you put it in a safe place, untouched, so that you could pay me back next year?

Now that you have (I hope) arrived at the same conclusion that I have, I'll ask the next logical question.  Why do we continue to loan all that money to the feds, whom we know to be fiscally irresponsible, instead of keeping it for ourselves and putting it to much better use in our own daily lives?

For instance, if you were to invest that amount in an IRA or 401(k) with a 5-percent annual return -- not hard to get in today's indexed mutual funds -- over a 40-year work career, you would have a retirement nest egg of over $350,000.  And just think, that's money that you aren't currently using at all, because you're loaning it to the government on a continuous basis.  That's right, even though you do get a 'refund' every year, you are still out the same amount from your current income tax withholding.  It's a cycle that never ends!

Are you convinced that over-withholding of taxes to get a refund at tax time is not a good idea?  If not, quit reading right here, because you will never learn anything from the rest of this column.

Okay, to those of you who are still with me, my illustration above is only one of many options as to how you could benefit from the extra $125 in each bi-weekly paycheck you get.  It would be an instant raise in income to use as you see fit.  And getting it is as easy as requesting and filling out a new W-4 form, called a Withholding Allowance Certificate that is available online or at your workplace. 

The W-4 includes a worksheet for you to determine how many exemptions you can take and how they will affect your take home pay.  It allows you to fine tune your withholding so that your deducted taxes during the year are approximately equal to what you will owe on tax day.  In fact, you should try to be within $100 of your tax liability and the W-4 is the primary instrument that enables you to achieve that.

Heck, I'll even give you this link to help you fill out the W-4.  It comes from TaxACT™, an online tax filing company and one you might choose to use when filing time arrives, but you're under no obligation to do so.  The instructions are free for your use.

If you are self employed, or run your own small business, you can achieve the same thing by downloading and using the 1040-ES, Estimated Tax Worksheet and Scheduler.  It will accomplish the same goal for you.  Here is a short video to help you with that.  It uses the 2011 Form 1040-ES, but these do not change from year to year so any one is adequate.

You might want to use both the W-4 and the 1040-ES if your income during the year is earned in uneven patterns and amounts.  For instance, you might buy and sell stocks and bonds, or you take on seasonal employment to augment your income.  Using both forms helps to fine tune your withholding to get to that +/-$100 goal at tax filing time.

The side benefit of  changing your withholding to stay close to your actual liability is that you will no longer be overfeeding the insatiable mouth of government.  The behavior of our spendthrift Congress can be muzzled if there isn't an excess of funds in the Treasury Department for them to spend.  You can help to reign in those huge deficits and the fat national debt by merely submitting your new W-4 or 1040-ES and convincing others to do the same.

So, unless you dislike the idea of getting a raise in your pay while helping to reduce the national debt, I suggest you take my advice and submit that revised W-4 and/or 1040-ES post haste.  And use the first enhanced pay to treat yourself to a night out and dinner -- you deserve it for being smart enough to take the first step.

A Kid's Camping Trip

This is going to be a journey through time as well as a wilderness trek.  There won't be any pictures, and the scenic beauty will have to be generated in your mind, but it is a nostalgic trip from this "kid's" past that you might find interesting to share.

I recently read a novel titled Vanishing Act, by Thomas Perry.  It was set mostly in Western  New York, but the end of the book was set in the Adirondack Mountains and detailed a canoe trip through some of the lakes in that area.  While reading that part, the memories came flooding back to me of my youth in that very spot.

I grew up in a suburb of Buffalo and my father loved to camp.  Nearly every summer we would drive up to the Adirondacks to a camping park called Golden Beach.  It was on Raquette Lake, a part of the Fulton Chain of lakes situated right in the middle of that mountain range. We kids would pitch our pup tent, a small 2-man canvas tent, and spread our Army surplus sleeping bags out on the ground, prepared for a week of  'living in the wild.'

One of the last summers we went up there - I was probably fifteen and my older brother. Don would have been seventeen - the two of us rented an aluminum canoe and went on an overnight trip in it.  Early one morning we loaded our sleeping bags and some snacks and sandwiches into the canoe and set off for the town of Blue Mountain Lake.

The route we had to follow took us first west around a spit of land called Long Point and into the mouth of the Marion River.  It really isn't a river at all, but a stream with lots of marshes and open meadows.  The views were good and there was lots of wildlife along the banks.

The Marion peters out about a half-mile from the western end of Utowana Lake, a Native American name that Don and I converted to 'You-don't-wan'na', something we laughed over for years afterwards.  A portage was called for to get over to the lake, so we hefted the canoe over our heads and trekked the distance.  We found a small lean-to built of pine branches at the head of the lake, so we decided to make it our camp when we returned later in the day.

Paddling along, we transited Lake Utowana and then Eagle lake - no portage there - and on into Blue Mountain Lake.  There is a small town with the same name along the southern shore, and we stopped at a general store there for a soda and a couple of candy bars as our lunch.  Then, after a very brief rest, we got back into the canoe and started the return trip. 

By this time it was already mid-afternoon, we had traveled approximately thirteen miles, and we knew it would be a good pull to reach our intended campsite before dusk.  You don't want to be paddling a canoe in the dark in those alpine lakes, so we had to paddle long and hard to get back to the head of Lake Utowana.  Beavers, herons and who knows what other animals watched us make for the campsite.

As I recall, we got back to the lean-to in plenty of time to build a campfire and set up our bivouac for the night.  Fortunately, we didn't have to share with anyone else; in those days there wasn't much traffic up there.  Nor did we encounter any bears, which could have been dicey, since neither of us had a gun, only an innocuous hunting knife with a five inch blade that the bear would surely have laughed at, or whatever it is bears do to show their disdain for human foibles.  Anyway, we spent a restless night worrying about the possibilities.

Early the next morning we struck our camp and set off for the paddle back to Golden Beach.  Of course, we first had to do that portage again back over to the Marion River. The return trip seemed ever so much shorter and we arrived before noon, two 'tested woodsmen' in their moment of glory.  Aside from a few scratches and some sore muscles, we were none the worse for the wear, and we both learned a lot about our mettle on that journey.

If you care to see a map of the route we used, go to whatever mapping application you use and type in Raquette Lake to start your search.  Then expand the map a little until the other three lakes come up to the north and east of Raquette Lake.  If you ever want a neat canoe trip, this one is recommended.  Even today, some sixty years later, I suspect it is still as wild and scenic as it was back in 1954 when I made that trip.  Oh, I know, Route 28 kind of parallels it, but aside from one stretch where the road is right by the lake, it is out of sight, out of mind.

 

Eliminating Blind Spots

I wrote a column on this topic eight years ago, but some things have changed since then, so I am reposting it with an added feature I didn't have in 2006; a video to illustrate my point.  Be sure to click on it after you read the column.

Some of the most serious preventable accidents occur because of blind spots while driving!  Now there is a remarkably simple solution discovered by an engineer named George Platter.  He presented his method at the prestigious Society of Automotive Engineers back in 2006, but many people have either never seen his presentation, or neglect to try it out.

The National Safety Council tested his theory and discovered, to their amazement, that it works!  The method has been fully endorsed by them. Here's how it works.
 

First, forget how we learned to adjust our outside mirrors by plopping behind the steering wheel and turning the mirrors, or having someone else do it from outside the car, so that we just saw along the sides of our car in the mirrors.

Instead, you want to adjust the driver's side mirror by resting your head against the driver's side window and then turning the mirror so that your view of the side of your car just goes out of sight from that perspective. You might see the rear door handle if you're in a four door car, but nothing else of the side.

Once the driver's side mirror is positioned, lean over toward the center of the vehicle and turn the passenger side mirror so that your view of the side right side also goes away.

If your car is equipped with electric mirror adjustment, you can perform the adjustments yourself.  Otherwise, get a helper to do the adjustments while you direct them.

That's it. You won't see your own car in either mirror, yet what you will see is far better.  Cars behind you show up as usual in the inside rear-view mirror attached to your windshield, but the instant the car leaves your field of vision from the rear-view mirror the outside mirror picks it up.  No blind spot; no delays; no wondering where that car that was about to pass you has disappeared to, and no waiting a few seconds for the car that you just saw in your rear-view mirror to show up in your outside mirrors.  All three mirrors work in harmony with one another, and the blind spot has been eliminated!

Reflections on 2014

This is my final entry for the year, so I thought I would try to make it my annual newsletter, or what passes for same.  I promise not to make it too boring, but you always have the delete button if it does get out of hand..

First of all I want to get something off my chest that bothers me more and more every year.  We are truly becoming a society of nerds.  We only seem to socialize with each other through electronic communicators; nobody actually interacts with their friends and relatives.  A stunning example is the paucity of Christmas Cards we received this year.  Judy sent out over thirty cards, but we only got a dozen cards in the mail from those same people who used to send one every year.  Of course, we got lots of email cards with family pictures attached and warm Christmas greetings via some artist or computer geek - Jackie Lawson comes to mind - but those just don't convey the same meaning as a snail mail card that somebody had to select, add their greetings and signature to and then seal and stamp it for posting.  It just isn't the same, folks!

We did our usual road-tripping this year which included four separate trips. If you get my trip journals, you'll know where we went, but there were a few that didn't make it into the journal stage.  One of the most fun ones was the trip up to Niagara Falls with the son and grand kids.  That one included a reptile and dinosaur zoo and a day at an amusement park that actually has no admission fee, just per-ride tickets and very reasonably priced at that.

I didn't have any heath episodes this year, but Judy did have a bit of a scare and was the one I took to the ER for a change instead of the other way around.  It turned out to be a temporary and curable type illness, so everything is back to normal now.

My daughter, Cathy, has had super success with her cottage industry in scrapbooking, and is always busy filling online sales of video tutorials as well as her scrapbook creations.  The scrapbooks bring some amazing bids, but then, they are masterpieces, if I may boast a bit here.  Cathy has built a nice little business for herself.  You can see some of her scrapbooks and tutorial samples by doing a search using the words, "So much scrap" (without the quotation marks) in your favorite search engine.  They really are beautiful.

We decided to trade in the Toyota Sienna van back in February, and bought a RAV4 to replace it.  We've had some adjustment problems, but are learning to appreciate the new SUV more each time we travel in it.  We just can't take along as much as we used to, but it gets great mileage and drives like a dream - so Judy tells me; I've never gotten behind the wheel.

I still haven't gotten to attend The Masters Golf  Tournament, although I've been in the raffle for several years.  I did, however, get to go on the grounds this spring to watch the Drive, Pitch and Putt Competition.  Jeff, my son-in-law went with me and we spent several hours enjoying the course.  Jeff is the avid golfer, so I know he wants to get in there to watch the actual pros play someday.  I've already lost out for 2015, but will keep on trying.  I'm just too cheap to pay up to $1,000 for a one-day pass, though.

The grandson here in Augusta went through a few employers this past year, but is now firmly ensconced at Lowe's, working mostly in the Paint Department and doing a fine job there.  His hours aren't all that he would like, but at least the pay is good for those he does work and he is building skills for himself.

I trust that everyone has had a wonderful Christmas and is celebrating the holidays with friends and family.  I look forward to a new year full of promise and adventure and I hope you do too.  Keep on counting your blessings, try not to have any regrets and we'll be just fine. 

Happy New Year!

What's in a Name?

I've lived in the state of Georgia (U. S., that is) for a little over eight years now, and I've traveled extensively throughout the state.  One thing I have noted, or rather, not noted, is the vast peach orchards along my routes of travel.  In fact, I cannot recall seeing even one peach tree in this state much less a whole peach orchard.  And yet, Georgia's nickname is "The Peach State."  In Atlanta alone, there are 55 streets with the name "Peachtree" in them.  Many other towns and cities on Georgia have similarly named streets and avenues.

I've also traveled through our neighboring state, South Carolina, and have seen literally thousands of peach trees there.  Just drive up Route 25 from North Augusta to Greenwood and from there on to Laurens and you'll see orchards lining both sides of the road most of the way, all peaches.

Georgia has never been a leader in the growth and production of peaches. The state now ranks first among the 50 states in the production of peanuts, pecans, lima beans and pimiento peppers.  Do you see peaches listed there?  No, and you won't see any ancient or dead orchards either.

So, the question is, how did Georgia come to be known as "The Peach State", of more Accurately, "The Peach Tree State"?

The name goes all the way back to the colonies.  One of Georgia's first exports was pine tar, the harvested resin of the tree now known as the Georgia Pine.  Pine tar was very important in shipbuilding, as it was used to seal the joints and crevasses between the boards on wooden sailing vessels.  Because of this plentiful and useful commodity, it is just as likely that Georgia would have been called "The Pitch Tree State", but who would want that appellation to attract people to their state?

There is another possible origin in the name of a Native American (Creek) village that once existed near Atlanta.  It was called "Standing Pitch Tree."  Where that name came from, nobody seems to know.  Perhaps if we had left the Creeks alone, hadn't marched them on the "Trail of Tears" over to Oklahoma, one of their descendants could tell us about it, or even give us a tour of the village.

It was very easy to use the southern drawl to change the pronunciation of the word pitch to peach, an attractive and tasty fruit that everybody likes. When you also drop the word "tree" from it, there is no longer any association with the pine tree.  And what better name to get people to either migrate to Georgia, or to come for a visit?  Once they get here, they just forget that it was peaches that first attracted them to this idyllic place, and they can always buy some in the local farmers markets (imported from South Carolina, of course).

I think the next thing I might tackle is the origin of the state nicknames of Iowa and Kansas.  Oh, and I already know that Maine is appropriately called the "Pine Tree State", but that conjures up a lot better mental image than "Pitch Tree State".