The Tragedy We Live With

I recently watched a video of Glen Campbell singing his last song, I'm Not Gonna Miss You in a poignant, but recognizable voice. (You have to watch an ad to get to the video, but be patient.)   And it really is his last song, because he has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease, and his memory is apparently fading fast.  The song is from his recently released film, I'll Be Me, which chronicles his disease and his life before Alzheimer's.

With a title like that, you wouldn't know that it's a love song, but it is, and I'll explain why it is in the column today.

While watching the video and listening to the very meaningful words, I was reminded of my mother-in-law, who was never said to have Alzheimer's, but did suffer Dementia, literally the same thing as far as I'm concerned.  She spent the last ten years of her life in a nursing home, but most of that time she had no idea where she was.

One of the effects of Alzheimer's Disease is that you lose all of your memory, including that of your relatives and friends.  Each time we visited Marge, she became more confused as to who we were, and she would refer to Judy as her sister or her mother at times.  Of course, eventually she didn't know either of us and it really became painful to visit her in those times.

One thing Marge did retain was the memory of her husband, Judy's father, who died several years prior to his wife of over 60 years.  In fact, even while Marge was losing her ability to call us by name, she would often greet us with, "Oh, you just missed Lyle. He left for work a few minutes ago."  Yes, she seemed to always have a continuing life with Lyle, even though he had passed on years before. 

I think that is what Glen Campbell's song refers to in the title and the lyrics. Even though his friends and relatives are no longer in his memory. he will not have to grieve over losing them, just as Marge never grieved over losing Lyle.  In some peculiar way, that is a blessing of Alzheimer's, if one can count it as such.

Mr. Campbell, arguably one of the best Country/Western singers and guitar players ever, was admitted to an Alzheimer's clinic earlier this year, so I'm Not Gonna Miss You will truly be his last song. It is reminiscent of Eric Clapton's song, When I See You In Heaven, written and sung by him after the accidental death of his young son.  Yes, listening to it might bring a tear or two to your eye, but both are songs of hope, not sadness.