An Interesting Digraph

One of the most interesting consonant blends, known as a digraph, is the one formed by the letters (gh). The reason it is so interesting is that it is one of the most versatile digraphs in the English language.

The digraph (gh) can be pronounced as (f), as in tough, trough or enough.

It becomes completely silent in the words light, sight or thought, but then, when we add that letter (t) at the end to form (ght), it makes this a trigraph.  And then, if you add the letter (h) to the word trough (see above) to form another digraph (th), at the other end of the word (gh) becomes what are called ‘empty letters’ or ‘silent letters” in the word through, although it technically converts the (aw) sound in thought to an (oo) sound.

When the (gh) digraph is at the front of a word it always takes the form of a hard (g), as in ghetto or ghastly.  In this instance (h) becomes a silent letter, but it serves the purpose to let you know that the (g) sound is the guttural one.

This digraph (gh) can also become a vowel pronounced as (o), as in Edinburgh.

Just when you think you’ve seen them all, here’s another one.  The (gh) in the word slough can be pronounced as either (ff) or not at all—the “empty letters” (oo) sound again. If you pronounce it (sloff), you’re referring to a coating or skin being cast off, but when you pronounce it, (sloo), you’re indicating a shallow and muddy inlet from the sea.

There are hundreds of words that use the (gh) digraph in one form or another, and in each case there is no rhyme or reason for the way it is pronounced or not pronounced.

Is it any wonder that English is called one of the hardest languages to learn?

A National Disgrace

I want to warn you up front that children should not read this column.  It has terms and descriptions that are adult in nature.  If you are squeamish about sexual material, then maybe you should quit here too. However, in my defense, this was broadcast on national radio stations without censorship.

If you don’t receive my Daily Dose of Humor messages, then I will include a link from one I sent out last week that might also apply to this column. If you did see it, you might still want to review it for another laugh.

I suspect that many of you either do not have the Neal Boortz Show on your local radio stations, or else you choose not to listen to the show.  Therefore, you most likely missed his rant on a Medicare “goody” that has cost the American taxpayer a quarter of a billion dollars so far.

What could this item be that has cost so much and has questionable benefit and virtually no curative value?  How come we have to foot the bill for something that is, at best, a frivolous device?  Can you guess what it is?

I’ll give you a clue: It can only be used by men and the effects are very short-lived.

Okay I won’t keep you in suspense any longer.  This gadget is called a “penis pump.” It has been on the approved Medicare list for ten years, and its use has nothing to do with urination.  That’s right, it is a sexual aid.

Medicare does not allow reimbursement for sexual enhancement drugs like Viagra or Levitra under the Medicare Part D prescription drug program, but for some unknown reason, the penis pump is allowed under Part B; this despite the fact that it has the exact same use.

In 2002, when the pump was first introduced—I suspect it was an offshoot of the oft-told tale of the Hoover experience of adventurous and obviously lonely males—the cost to Medicare was $11 million.  In 2011, the Medicare cost was in excess of $47 million.

I won’t include the online link, but you should know that these devices come in several versions and cost between $25 and $50 plus shipping.  I don’t know whether your local Walgreen or CVS stock them, and I don’t much care whether or not they do.  However, if Rite Aid had them, I think that would be kind of funny.  Anyway, I wouldn’t have the nerve to ask about them.

Just for fun, I used my calculator to divide $47 million by $25 and came up with a total possible number of units sold of 10 million in 2011 alone.  Now that’s a lot of needy men, and that is only the ones who don’t pay for those drugs that Medicare doesn’t allow.  If we can believe that even more males use those drugs than use the pumps, I estimate that possibly half or more of our American men are afflicted with erectile dysfunction, ED for short.

I won’t bother to editorialize about ED, though I do wonder why the ads always picture the couple sitting in separate bathtubs, don’t you?  But I do think that our Medicare system is severely broken and in need of reform.  I hope that someone in Washington has the courage to do something about it soon.

As to this deficiency in the male of our species, there are so many cute things that could be said, but I’ll spare you my humorous take on it.  I’ve already said too much but guys, if you keep it up you might yet save Medicare.

Fracking Forum

I’m sure you know what the word “fracking” means unless you’ve been sleeping like Rip Van Winkle for the past twenty or so years.  It is a fairly recent invented word that refers to the process of hydraulic fracturing of deep layers of rock to extract the oil and gas from those subterranean deposits.

I could try to explain what the process entails, but I encourage you instead to take a few minutes to watch a very good video presentation of fracking from Voyager Corporation, a company that performs this process.

Hardly a day goes by when something doesn’t come to my Inbox about the perils of fracking.  There is a lot of secrecy about the chemicals used along with the 95% water-and-sand base that is pumped down into the rock to form the cracks and allow gas and oil to flow back up the pipes.

Many unsubstantiated and unproved reports have been made about contamination of the aquifers and drinking water supplies caused by fracking.  I even watched an episode of the television program CSI, where a rancher’s well water was supposedly set afire at the spigot due to gas contamination.  Fracking was said to be the culprit. Several states have banned the process—New York is one—due to the perceived hazard.

I’m no expert on fracking and I won’t pretend to know for a certainty how dangerous the process is, so this column is more a forum for airing ideas about it.  So here goes…

I searched for the answer to the questions, “How deep is the average water well?” and, “What is the average depth of an aquifer?”  I found that most wells are 100-200 feet deep, while aquifers (permeable water-bearing sandstone) can be 500 to 1,000 feet below ground.

Since ground water contamination is the main source of opposition to fracking, I wanted to learn how deep hydraulic fracturing takes place.  I learned that most of it is done at the 5,000 to 10,000 foot level, a mile or more beneath the aquifers and up to two miles below the average drinking water wells.  In my opinion the case for contamination is pretty weak.  But then, I’m not an expert, so what do I know?

So next I wanted to learn how deep the vast network of gas, oil and ethanol pipelines are buried.  Natural gas and ethanol must be transported via pipelines so there has to be a huge infrastructure of these lines throughout the country.  Petroleum can be shipped or transported by tanker truck or rail tank cars, but it is much more economical to pipe it.

I discovered that those huge pipes are mostly within 20 feet of the surface, and most are only buried 3-5 feet below ground.  But wait, that is between the level where drinking water is found and the surface where people live and use it. Wouldn’t that provide much more risk than fracking?  After all, those pipes have been in place for decades, and they must be subject to corrosion and leaks.  There is no concrete barrier around them like there is in the fracking process either.

The latest controversy is over the Keystone XL pipeline that is supposed to bring oil from Canada to the refineries in the United States.  Even this one is being held up and has to be rerouted to avoid the Ogallala aquifer in Nebraska.  But then the Ogallala aquifer is huge, and it extends above and below Nebraska. And it has literally thousands of miles of pipeline running through it already. Check out this video from a Canadian television network about the proposed pipeline.

Before I leave this sensitive topic, I have to point out that the long awaited and oh, so controversial drilling in the ANWR region of Alaska would be 100 percent fracking, since that’s the only way to extract that gas and oil.  Not only is the region a tundra wasteland—those beautiful mountains and lakes that you see in the anti-drill propaganda are not even close to the drill sites—but there are no people living up there, and even the caribou don’t go that far north. If they ever do stray up there, the risk of contamination of the water supply is vastly overstated.  The fact is that all the water up there is frozen anyway.

I regret that I’ve probably disillusioned or angered some of you environmentalists out there, but I cannot support a ban on the extraction of our own natural gas and petroleum to the great advantage of people who seem to be our perpetual enemies. If you care to get in on the forum with your own ideas, feel free to log in and post away.

Roadside Emergency

I have published a column at least twice regarding what tools and equipment you should have in your vehicle for emergencies.  One emergency I specifically named is that of a vehicle plunging into deep water either through driving on a flooded highway or through an accident that sends the vehicle into a body of water.

Now I want to revert to that advice, because I have a real-life story about what happened to a family in Utah when that very event happened.  It has a happy ending, so you don’t have to decide whether to read on or not.

On the last day of 2011, a car did go off Highway 89 near Logan, Utah and landed upside down in an icy river. The driver was able to escape, but three children, two nine-year-old girls and a four-year-old boy were trapped inside the upside down car.

An off-duty police officer dove into the river and used his gun to shoot out one of the side windows.  Then he used his pocketknife to cut seat belts and rescue the children. Luckily, all four victims survived the accident.

The Ogden Accident brought to mind my column and also got me thinking about the circumstances that ensued in that accident; specifically how fortunate it was that that cop, armed with a gun and a knife, was one of the first to come upon the scene.

How very different the outcome would have been had there not been anyone armed with those particular tools (weapons) to rescue those kids!

With all the security procedures we are currently subject to at airports, and in some respects at all public locations, what are the chances that anyone will have the proper tools to perform the task that officer Chris Willden did?  I’d answer slim to none.

It just happened that last week I was with a group of men and we needed a knife to cut some plastic.  Not one of us had a pocketknife, and we wound up using a nail clipper to do the job.  A pocketknife used to be standard equipment in every guy’s pocket, but I don’t even know where my Swiss Army knife is anymore.  I took it out of my pocket years ago when I was taking a trip by air, and I never put it back in there.

If ever there was a reminder or a first call for you to purchase one of those emergency survival tools that looks like a pair of pliers, or a car tool that contains a belt cutter, flashlight, hammer and emergency beacon, this is it. You can purchase them online for less than $10.  I only provided one link, but there are several available, and if you have Auto parts stores in your neighborhood, they probably carry one too for less than $20. In fact, I saw one at my local Walmart yesterday morning.

Singing Valentines

Valentines Day is coming up on a Tuesday this year, February 14, and if you’re in a quandary about what to buy your wife or girlfriend, I have a suggestion for you.  Buy her a Singing Valentine. If you’ve never bought a singing valentine for your wife, or girlfriend, or fiancé, or other significant loved one in your life, you don’t know what you’re missing-or rather, what they're missing. 

I doubt that there is anything else you can do on Valentines Day that will equal the experience she will have when four tuxedo-clad men show up at her home or at her workplace, present a long-stem red rose and a card with your personal greeting on it and then sing two love songs to her.

Our quartet sang about 30 times last year, and the response was phenomenal.  The ones we sang in the home were the most personal, and the tears flowed every time.  But the ones we sang at the workplace, especially at schools, were the most fun, because our audience was larger, and the school children were so impressed.

We sang to women and men—that’s right, we’re gender neutral—and our audience included teenage girls, widows, mothers and daughters.  We started at 7 AM and didn’t quit until 9 PM. 

We were one of five quartets that circulated throughout the metropolitan area singing, and we presented 166 Singing Valentines.  It wasn’t inexpensive for the senders, but I bet every one of them felt it was worth every penny.  For the lovebirds I'm certain that it pays dividends later that evening.

If you would like to send a Singing Valentine to your sweetheart this year, most cities have the service available.  You can usually place an order online or by phone.  Just use the link http://singingvalentines.com/lookup.aspx  to locate the service in your area.  If you order early and you allow a four-hour window, you can probably get a discount.  The extras, like having the presentation at your Valentine dinner at your favorite restaurant are a little extra money, but are always worth it.

So here it is ladies and gentlemen.  If you are trying to come up with a good gift for this Valentines Day, I guarantee that you cannot do any better than a Singing Valentine.  If you don’t score big with your honey, it won’t be our fault.

Here are the lyrics to the two songs usually sung by the quartet:

Let Me Call You Sweetheart

Let Me Call You Sweetheart, I’m in love with you.

Let me hear you whisper that you love me too.

Keep the love light glowing in your eyes so true.

Let me call you sweetheart, I’m in love with you.

Heart Of My Heart

Heart of my heart, I love you.

Life would be naught without you.

Light of my life, my darling,

I love you... I love you.

I can forget you never.

From you I ne’er can sever.

Say you’ll be mine forever.

I love you.

Now I ask you, “How can she resist?”

Soaring in the Andes

I recently received a message that included a video presentation on YouTube. The subject was soaring (a.k.a. gliding, sail planning) and the venue for the video was the Chilean Andes. It featured spectacular scenery and sleek craft.

The video runs over thirteen minutes, but it is captivating and oh, so addictive to watch! These sail planes travel at speeds of 100 to 200 miles per hour, but they look so graceful that the speed is difficult to gauge.

One thing I noticed at the end of the video when the credits were running: There was not a single American in the race. That was a surprise, because I know that soaring is a good activity in this country as well as in Canada. There are contests in Denver. Colorado and in Calgary, Alberta, but to date, no one has entered in the international races.

That isn’t to say that we don’t have sites for sport gliding in both the Rockies and the Appalachians. Utah has several sites, and there are glider fields in Vermont, New York and North Carolina. For those in the Eastern United States, there is a glider port and school at Harris Hill just outside of Elmira, New York. Harris Hill is also home to the National Soaring Museum.

I encourage you to copy the link and watch the entire video, but I will explain that one of the facts I took away from it is that modern technology enables the gliders to have video cameras mounted on them, similar to those you see in the NASCAR races. Those cameras would enable television coverage of a race from the perspective of each racer’s cockpit.

With the accidents that have occurred recently at the Reno Air Race and elsewhere, the future of that sport is in doubt. In my opinion, glider races would be a safer sport and would provide every bit as much excitement as the faster air races.

I will admit that riding in a glider has just been added to my bucket list. After watching the video, I am hooked. I might just stop off at Harris Hill on one of my road trips up to Western New York to take a ride.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyaMcMzDkFM

The Gun That Won The West

Any of us who have studied the history of the United States is probably familiar with the title of this column, The Gun That Won the West. Of course, you will likely recall that a movie was made in 1955. No, it didn’t have John Wayne as its star, and the real star of the movie was not a person, but a gun, the Springfield Model 1865 Rifle.

That history is nice, but not completely accurate, as I am about to prove. It was another gun altogether that truly “won the West” for our country. It wasn’t made by Springfield, nor Colt, or any other American gun manufacturer, and it didn’t even use bullets and black powder to fire its deadly hail.

The gun I’m referring to was made in Italy around 1790. It was the Girandoni Air Rifle, and it was used by the Austrians against Napoleon in its first battles. The Girandoni found its way to the newly formed United States and was first used by the Lewis and Clark Expedition in 1803 to explore the new territory known as the Louisiana Purchase.

I recently watched a video presentation produced by the National Firearms Museum that told the history of the Girandoni air rifle as it related to the Lewis and Clark Expedition. The Senior Curator, Phil Schreier, explained how the gun worked and he showed a model of the gun. I downloaded the video from YouTube, so you can watch it too if you’re interested. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pqFyKh-rUI

One of the questions that has always baffled me—and apparently it also been asked by historians—is how did the party of 38 men and one woman (Sacagawea) traverse thousands of miles of Indian territory without ever being attacked and massacred by the overwhelming numbers of hostile natives?

The answer lies in the fact that every single time that the exploration party encountered native tribes, they provided gifts and then Meriwether Lewis would demonstrate the Girandoni Air Rifle for the tribe. The fact that the rifle could fire 22 rounds in less than 30 seconds with extreme accuracy must have really impressed (and scared) the natives.

Now, here’s the wrinkle that makes this gun so historical. Lewis and Clark only had one such rifle with them! Of course they never divulged that secret to the Indians. Better to let them think that the firepower of the few white men was far more than the huge difference in numbers possessed by the tribes.

According to Mr. Schreier, the journals of the expedition contain no less than thirty-nine references to the Girandoni demonstrations, and it was probably this alone that provided safe passage for the expedition all the way to the Pacific Ocean with no conflict at all.

It is my opinion that, had Lewis and Clark not used that Girandoni Air Rifle as a means to demonstrate their superior firepower, we might not have had a “West” to win. True, the Springfield Rifles and those pioneers who carried them did their part, but it was that single gun that opened the territory to exploration and settlement.

Mr. Schreier also refers to the Indians as being armed, but I have read some of the history of the Lewis and Clark Expedition, and I contend that the natives were armed mostly with primitive weapons. True, they had superior numbers of warriors, and bows and arrows, knives and lances were not to be scoffed at. But those were the main weapons, although some of the braves had obtained guns from earlier trappers and traders. It was only after the pioneers started their migration to the western lands that the tribes became well equipped with firearms.

Imagine how anxious the tribes would have been to obtain some of those Girandoni Air rifles! It was the first “repeater” they had ever seen. The chiefs certainly must have believed that the entire band of explorers was armed with those formidable weapons. There were many tense confrontations, but they always ended with no hostilities and the chiefs backing down.

There is one other point that Mr. Schreier makes in the video that our present day leaders seem to have forgotten. The Girandoni Air Rifle demonstrations brought peace through strength. None of those 46 caliber balls ever had to be used in anger. Lewis's parlor trick was enough to ward off any thoughts of war by the tribal chiefs.

If you really care enough to read about the expedition without having to pore over the thirteen journals and one million words penned by Lewis, you can get a great version from the book by Stephen Ambrose, Undaunted Courage. It is available at Amazon or can likely be borrowed from your local library.

If you are more interested in a visual/oral demonstration and history of the Girandoni Air Rifle and its subsequent more modern versions, you can stay on YouTube and find all manner of videos detailing the mechanics of the gun. It is quite a piece of weaponry.